before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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