Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
