I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
