you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
