Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
