i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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