You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize