Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
