dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
