But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
