Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
