I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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