im about as happy as oj after his trial
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
