I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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