and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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