Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize