Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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