Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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