I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I wish I only lived at night.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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