i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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