What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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