Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I will be naked everywhere
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
