Your tits are I can't wait for
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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