I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
