Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
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