you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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