Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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