the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
