If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
