Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
