margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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