Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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