It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
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