Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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