I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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