Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
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he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
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At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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