i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
