i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
