HIV tests are more positive than that guy
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
