i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
