Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
