they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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