I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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