Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize