I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
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