Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
