he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
