i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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