Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
