i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
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i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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