What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
