i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
