Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
