Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
