At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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