Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Randomize
