I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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