Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize