Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
