Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
